>> Tuesday, May 15, 2012
My adult stepdaughter...where to start... I am left to wonder if she has purposeful amnesia or she has just blocked out most her childhood. I am also left to wonder how much of her most recent drivel was a stab at her father (who doesn't even get a "hi" from them on Father's Day). Then again, maybe she is just thoughtless and rude. Hell, could be any of them!
Apparently, the ex raised two kids "all on her own" (stab) - oh really? Dad didn't spend almost half his time with them when we lived two blocks away, raising them, providing for them? Dad didn't spend 10+ hours every other weekend, his only weekends off, for six years, in the car so he could spend the weekend with them? Dad played no part whatsoever in raising them - feeding, dressing, attending school events/conferences, loving them, reading to them, playing with them, bedtime routines, maintaining contact with their schools/teachers, etc? Dad didn't drive to their state to take his son to therapy because of his mother's behavior? Dad didn't pay his child support on time, every week, whether he was working or laid off for the past 17 years and provide for them at his own place with holidays, birthdays, clothes and complete bedrooms on top of it? Dad didn't spend the last 17 years putting up with their vindictive mother who did everything she could to turn the kids against him and interfere in his time with his kids while never saying one bad word against her in front of them? Dad didn't spend his parenting time trying to overcome the lies and interference they received while they were not with him? Dad didn't spend his parenting time holding his crying firstborn because she didn't want to leave him or me? The answers to all of those questions - he most certainly did and shame on them for disregarding everything he has done for them and his love for them. They've lost so much and have no idea.
My sd also said they've been able to do whatever they want growing up and it is all thanks to her mother (stab)...yeah, dad had nothing to do with providing the money so they could do whatever they wanted and become spoiled with no sense of responsibility or apparently, conscience, because the ex's part in raising them included no boundaries or rules - just do and buy whatever they want no matter the behavior, the grades, etc. Bad us for having rules. I thought behaving civilly so people didn't look at us funny in public and walk away shaking their heads was a good idea, instilling manners (no, shoving your entire hand into your mouth to shovel food into your face is not appropriate and neither is sticking your feet on the table at dinner), or not allowing the violent attacks towards siblings (no, it is not ok to sit on your smaller sister and punch the crap out of her and not stop until you are pulled off or kick your baby sibling in the head or try to jump on her face with both feet, or push a baby into the door so she has to go to the ER to check for skull fracture) were good and fair rules? Silly me.
SD also mentioned how her mother is putting her through college and she'll find a way to put ss through it (stab)- hmmm, at 65K a year tuition, the ex is putting her through college? Pfft...doubt it (makes me wonder, yet again, on the paternity of one of my husband's kids and just who really is paying a lot of this stuff). However, if she is willing to take on your student loans and make those payments the rest of her life so you still don't have to get a real job and work to pay even a penny for your college, car, clothes, gas, entertainment, birth control, etc. etc. etc., (and you are ok with holding your hand out to your mom all the time for money as an adult, really?), then congratulations on being self-centered and spoiled.
We have the documentation proving just how much their dad fought to maintain a relationship with them. They're not ready to remember. With mommy paying for whatever they want (funny how they overlook that dad has paid child support all along and is still paying), why would they want to ruin that? Maybe if they actually said something that was true, they'd draw more blood...but wait, they don't have anything. Dad did nothing but love them, care for them, and provide for them their entire lives. Shame on them for pushing that love away and forgetting about it. Shame on them for doing the same thing to their younger siblings.